Every week T-Roc will share his thoughts on what is going on in college football, make picks and fire back at your nasty comments. Want to learn more about him, check out his first post or visit his archive.

College football is a cruel bitch of a mistress. Anyone who’s ever laid money on a game knows as much. Yet I manage to be surprised each time one of my predictions is proven wrong despite a lifelong record of .500 (give or take a win or two).

In the preseason I said Texas was in for an off year and Auburn’s new offense would work. Last week I did everything but call the Vegas oddsmakers idiots for a trio of lines they offered, all of which I grossly misplayed. And then I missed my self-proclaimed “solid gold, nuts-in-a-vice lock of the year.”

So fuck it - I screw up. And you’re not perfect yourself, so wipe that smirk off your face, cockmunch. I’m making this week’s picks drunk. If you don’t like it, well, screw you, asshole.

All numbers are from Pinnaclesports.com from Tuesday night.

Hawaii at Boise State, Friday, 8 p.m. ET: Boise State -24 ½

I enjoyed Hawaii’s run last year. A school with funding and recruiting handicaps as well as a diehard fan base that reached a BCS bowl? Only in America (fuck yeah).

But it’s over, baby. Hawaii lost by 46 points in Gainesville to open the season and by 38 in Cornvallis two weeks later. As I currently estimate the Broncos to be in between the Gators and Beavers in terms of potency, I see a 42-point Boise State win. Now to find a sportsbook that’ll give me odds on the precise margin of victory…

Vanderbilt at Georgia, Saturday, 12:30 p.m. ET: Georgia -14 ½

I was an English major at one time (Oh I’m sorry, baby, did that make your panties wet?). So I’ll reference Chinua Achebe in pointing to Vandy’s loss last week as the point in which Things [Fell] Apart.

The Commodores were supposed to blow hammer this year. I say we see some proof of that on Saturday.

USC at Washington State, Saturday, 3:30 p.m. ET: USC -42 ½

Getting 42 ½ points at home ain’t enough to make me like these Cougars, even in my drunken state.* Wazzu has allowed 60-plus points to all three Pac-10 opponents with an offensive pulse this year. So yeah, I’ll lay the points. Call it drunken lunacy or call it insight, I don’t think I have a choice here.

* Sorry, Cuzzy, for any typos I’m tossing your way.

Mississippi State at Tennessee, Saturday, 7 p.m. ET: Mississippi State +7 ½

I didn’t hate what Nick Stephens was bringing to the table last week in Georgia but this is not one of Tennessee’s finer seasons regardless of who lines up under center.

The Vols have averaged 10.7 points per SEC game. The Bulldogs have faced two shitty SEC offences and held them to 8.5 points per. Here’s saying Croom’s boys keep it close on Rocky Top.

Virginia Tech at Boston College, Saturday, 8 p.m. ET: Virginia Tech +2 ½

Sorry, BC, I’m just not that into you. It’s not you, baby - it’s me. I’m just not very affectionate… and when something annoys me, it’s pretty evident.

And for anyone looking for a legitimate reason to play the Hokies with the points, look at Tyrod Taylor and the trouble the Eagles have had with mobile QBs this season.

Louisiana State at South Carolina, Saturday, 8 p.m. ET: Louisiana State -3

No, it wasn’t an impressive performance by LSU in the Swamp last Saturday night. But Sweet Jesus, the Gamecocks’ offence is nowhere near that of the Gators.

South Carolina’s losses don’t look so bad when one considers that both came to currently-ranked SEC opponents. But fuck that noise - the Bayou Bengals are a superior team that should win by double digits.

Last week: 2-4 ATS

Year-to-date: 22-19-1 ATS

Popularity: 2% [?]

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!