Less than a week to go until regular season NBA action!! It is like Christmas around here with the Toronto Raptors starting their season against the Sixers. Cuzoogle HQ is getting a face lift soon and a new HD TV has been put in the lounge to watch all the games. We have been listing various predictions for weeks and even asked for your thoughts on who the worst team in the NBA will be. Well we liked that backwards thinking so much we decided to take a look at the whole season from that same angle. You know, a Bizarro World point of view. Where black is white, wet is dry and John McCain has a shot in hell of winning (ouch).
Take a moment of your day to check out how we see the NBA season going with our Bizarro glasses on.
New York Knicks knock off the Oklahoma City Thunder in Game 7 as Stephon Marbury plays on a bad ankle to score 35 points in the win. Eddy Curry, who will slim down to a svelt 250, dominates on the inside and is named Finals MVP.
Tracy McGrady wins in a lopsided vote after leading the league in scoring and assists. He will even get his team out of the first round of the playoffs for the first time in his career to put icing on the MVP cake.
Andrea Bargnani blows off his critics and dominates the boards in his third season. He becomes a Charles Barkley clone but in an Italian body. Il Muggo averages 12 rebounds a game to narrowly squeak out Mehmet Okur of the Jazz .
Rookie of the Year
Kevin Love brings the noise in Minny and runs away with the honour. Everyone who thought he would fail in the pros can suck it cause Love is the real deal.
Coach of the Year
Hard to believe but Mike D’Antoni has to win thanks to his God-like coaching job with the Knicks. Not only will he get Marbury to try, Curry to run and Isiah Thomas to stay away from MSG, he will prove to the NBA that he is a valuable commidity (the Suns will only win 21 games).
NBA All FIrst Team
C: Eddy Curry
F: Nick Collison and Tim Thomas
G: Steve Blake and Jayson Williams
Teams start to play the dancers in garbage time.
Chris Paul refuses to pass to his teammates.
Tim Duncan leads the league in techs.
To counter that, Rasheed Wallace will win the sportsmanship award.
Manu Ginobili stops flopping.
Dwight Howard shoots 46% from outside the key.
The Pacers keep a clean criminal record.
Ben Wallace returns to being the player he was in Detroit.
The Celtics trade the big three for the little three.
Vince Carter busts his ass every night and encourages his team.
Ron Artest hits the top of the billboard charts and donates the money to charity.
Jeff Van Gundy returns to coaching after Mike Brown gets canned in Cleveland.
Bloggers stop writing about the NBA.
Charlotte leads the NBA in attendance and actually makes people stop caring about the Tar Heels.
The L.A. Clippers end up with the best record in the NBA before getting knocked out of the playoffs by the Thunder in the semis.
Bizarre enough for you? Now let us ask you this. From that wild list of bizarre happenings, do any of them have a shot at being true? If so what one?
Taking off our glasses now, ah things look normal again.
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