One of our favourite TV shows each week is 30 Rock on NBC. The writing is top notch and the cast is even better. Alec Baldwin, Tina Fey or Tracy Morgan seem to have at least one killer line every week so we figured it was time to bust some of them out.

Here are 30 very funny quotes from the first few seasons of 30 Rock, blerg.

1. Kenneth: I know how you like this cornbread Mr. Jordan.

Tracy: LIKE it? I love this cornbread so much I wanna take it back behind the middle school and get it pregnant.

2. Devon: You familiar with the Church of Practicology?
Jack: You mean the cult that was invented by Stan Lee?
Devon: No, I mean the religion founded by the alien king living inside Stan Lee.

3. Tracy: Kenneth should have given you the code word.
Jesse: What?
Tracy: That’s it!

4. Tracy: Doctor Spaceman, when they check my DNA, will they tell me what diseases I might get, or help me to remember my ATM pin code?
Dr. Spaceman: Absolutely. Science is whatever we want it to be. I’ll let you know as soon as we have the results.
Tracy: I already know the results, the kid is not mine!
Dr. Spaceman: Boy, it’s crazy to think we used to settle questions of paternity by dunking a woman in water until she admitted she made it all up. Different time, the ’60s.

5. Devin: Celebrity snuff. Reality content made exclusively for your mobile phone: Oh what’s that? MC Lyte just murdered Danny Bonaduce? Thanks, PHONE.

6. Jack: This ought to prove my mother wrong, saying Donaghy is Gaelic for failure. What the hell does she know, she’s a Murphy; Bunch of mud farmers and sheep rapists.

7. Jenna: If the president is so serious about the war on terror, why doesn’t he hunt down and capture Barack Obama before he strikes again?

8. Dot Com: Yo, Kenneth, we need to talk now.
Kenneth: Oh, I’ve had this conversation before. You’re marrying my mom, aren’t you?

9. Jack: What are you doing?
Tracy: Payback. The way you treated me. You used me.
Jack: God, its like dating Katie Couric all over again. I didn’t use you. I created a situation that could have been mutually beneficial and you blew it.

10. Jack: When I was your age, I was putting myself through college in Boston paddling swan boats for the tourists.
Kenneth: Is that a euphemism for some kind of sex worker?

11. Jack: Look, Tracy, I can’t just give you money. But what I can do is show you how you can earn all the money you need.
You must know Arsenio.
Tracy: Hall or Billingham?
Jack: You know someone named Arsenio Billingham?
Tracy: No.

12. JACK: That’s why I only date 20 year olds.
DENNIS: Let me tell you about 20 year olds, half of them are 16.

13. Tracy: I want to hold a mirror up to society and then win world record for biggest mirror.

14. Liz: Why are you wearing a tux?
Jack: It’s after six. What am I, a farmer?

15. Liz: Okay, very funny. You bought a pager from Dennis. Will you take it off now, please?
Jack: Oh, I can’t. I’m expecting a call from 1983.

16. Kenneth: I’m glad I’m not a white man, Mr. Donaghy. …Is Spongebob Squarepants supposed to be terrifying?
Jack: You’re darn right he is, Kenneth.

17. Jack: And Deborah is testing off the charts in the most profitable demographics: Soccer moms, NASCAR dads, white collar pervs and the obese.

18. Tracy: So what’s your religion, Liz Lemon?
Liz: I pretty much just do whatever Oprah tells me to.

19. Jack: I’ve asked Tracy to join me at G.E. Golf tournament in Connecticut.
Liz: Was Courtney Love not available?

20. Liz: What’s going on, business got ya down?
Jack: Business doesn’t get me down, business gets me off.

21. Jack: All you have to do as the writing staff of an NBC show is incorporate positive mentions, or ‘POS-MENS’ of GE products into your program. For example you could write an episode where one of your character purchases, and is satisfied with one of GE’s direct current drilling motors for off-shore or land-based projects.

22. Liz: What do guys like?
Frank: Porn.
Liz: No, I mean if you were to go on a date with a girl, how would you want her to act?
Frank: Like she was in a porn.

23. Liz: I got rid of all my Colin Firth movies in case they consider it erotica.
Jack: That man can wear a sweater.

24. Jack: Lemon, what happened? Did you take an Ambien with your Franzia and sleep walk here?

25. Kenneth: I like your top. I’m a real good sex person. I do it all the different ways.

18. Jack: Never go with a hippie to a second location.

19. Jack: I’m not a creative type like you, with your work sneakers and left-handedness.

20. Tracy: Live every week like it’s Shark Week.

21. Tracy: I got something on my mind grapes I need to talk to you about.

22. Jack: How far would I have to let her go to get my old job back? Are we talking over the shirt frontsies, backsies or would I really have to give her my gift?

23. Devon: It’s just G now Jack. I sold the E to Samsung. They are now Samesung

24. Liz: What made you think I was gay?
Jack: Your shoes.
Liz: Well, I’m straight.
Jack: Those shoes are definitely bi-curious.

25. Liz: You’re trying to bring logic to the Robot-Bear sketch?

26. Tracy: You know how pissed off I was when US Weekly said that I was on crack? That’s racist! I’m not on crack. I’m straight-up mentally ill!

27. Jack: Alfredo 2pm.
Liz: I’m not dressed for that.
Jack: You’re dressed for Burger King. Should we make it Burger King?

28. Tracy: Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS
into our chicken nuggets.

29. Liz: Whoa, excuse me, there’s a line, buddy.
Man: There’s two lines.
Liz: No. No, there’s one line; we’re in it.
Man: I’m just getting a hot dog.
Liz: We’re all getting hot dogs! What, you think there’s two lines and we’re all in this line? You’re the only genius who got in the other line? Can you believe this guy?

30. Liz: [as she tries to crawl out inconspicuously and gets caught] This would work on Ugly Betty.

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