Every week T-Roc will share his thoughts on what is going on in college football, make picks and fire back at your nasty comments. Want to learn more about him, check out his first post or visit his archive.

September already and praise be to Allah I survived a shit summer. Shit weather and me stuck in my shitty cubicle during the bulk of sunny days. My summer highlight was coming up with a new name for my penis. I shit you not.

Ever make spider dogs over a campfire when you were a kid? You know, when you make a couple of slices onto a weiner which makes the thing branch out into a grotesque, tentacled tangle of artificial meat? Right. Anyway, a girl at the campsite shuddered at the thought of eating the thing she’d just created by making the cuts described above. Having had a couple of wobbly pops, I had no problem disarming her with charm:

“Come on, baby, just think of it as a meat flower in full bloom.”

And a new name for Mr. Winkie was born.

Now you understand how fucking grateful I am it’s finally football season. Here’s a half-dozen picks for Saturday, all odds from Pinnaclesports.com as of Tuesday evening.

Akron at Penn State, noon ET: Under 59

A fella could even parlay Penn State -27 with the under. This game reeks of a 38-7 or 42-10 final, doesn’t it?

Akron could be a bowl-bound team come December, but this year’s State is considerably stronger than JoePa’s boys of ‘04 and ‘06, both of whom handled the Zips easily enough.

Nevada at Notre Dame, 3:30 p.m. ET : Notre Dame -14

Fuck, it pains me to take the Irish, but this is a mismatch, Colin Kaepernick be damned. The fat man on the Notre Dame sideline finally has elite talent and should deliver a statement beyond “More gravy on those fries, please.”

And then every already-obnoxious Notre Dame fan becomes even more unbearable. Joy.

Georgia at Oklahoma State, 3:30 p.m. ET: Under 61 ½

This total has crept upward this week, likely helped by bettors looking at OSU’s scores from last year. The Cowboys are explosive even on special teams, but the Dawgs will do everything in their power to slow the pace of the game.

An aside: who’d win in the octagon between Mike Gundy and Mark Richt? Gundy might be a man (who’s 40!), but Richt has God on his side. I’d take Richt up to -130.

Louisiana Tech at Auburn, 7 p.m. ET : Under 43 ½

“C’mon you pansy, stop picking totals!” At least, I assume someone out there’s saying that. Last one, I promise.

No faith in Auburn’s offence. No faith in Gene Chizik as the right hire. And no faith in Tech to put up more than 14 at Jordan-Hare, even during another off year for the Tigers.

Florida Atlantic at Nebraska, 7 p.m. ET: Nebraska -21 ½

I hate that number, “21 ½”. Will I buy a point to make it a much friendlier “20 ½”? Nuh-uh. I like the huskers of the corn by 30-40 points this weekend, thanks to dominance on both sides of the line.

FAU could be a bowl team, but the Owls have travelled to 10 BCS-conference schools since 2006 and are 0-10 with an average losing score of 44-8. Fuck that.

LSU at Washington, : Washington +17 ½

Ahh, the first home dog of the season. Feels good, feels good. What’s that? UW was 0-12 last year? Fuck it - the Huskies are dogs I’ll stand by on Saturday.

A healthy Jake Locker put up some great performances at home against ranked schools in early ‘07 and Washington’s so, so much better than last year. Don’t make me look stupid, Jake.

Let T-Roc know what you think of his picks on Twitter.

Popularity: 1% [?]

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!